An Upcoming Fic Advertisement (One-shot)
by CX Darth Yoda Is Awesome XD
Summary: Rag is a regular human who had an obsession with the unknown. Unfortunately, one of her most recent assignments from Dark Booty himself have ended with her working for the enemy. But, maybe the two aren't as contradictory as the other imagines. Join Rag in her little misadventures ordered from our favorite green invader. (Criticism appreciated.)


**My OC is, in fact, human, unlike most Invader Zim OCs. Reason: I already have an alien character for something else, and I'm writing about her most of my freetime (when I have the necessities). Anyways, this character wasn't originally shipped with anyone at first, but someone who reviewed my character pointed out that it could be done, so I'm gonna give it a shot and challenge myself. With the hardest character. That's Zim.**

**OMG, THE GENERICNESS! Cue the boos! *booing soundtrack plays***

**Honestly, do I have any originality? YOU KNOW WHAT?! I've decided as I'm typing this that I'm going to make my OCs shipped with the most generically shipped character from now on, just to be stupid, and to see if I can pull it off.**

** (Also, if you're reading my other story [unlikely as it may seem] I apologize for the lack of an update. In order to continue writing that I need access to the internet, which I do have access of, but I haven't had time for.) This was written during one of my classes after I did my assigned work. (I'm such a good girl. *sarcasm*) I proof read it on my way home and typed the thing on my laptop. I'm posting it real quick now that I have some free time with the Internet. {Your thoughts: Dafuq would I care?} SOME PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN THIS STUFF! LIKE THEM! *points to empty space***

**Rant over. And stuff.**

**PLEASE CRITICIZE! (Constructively, of course.)**

**Disclaimer (as if we need one): _Oh, Jhonen Vasquez the great! Please accept my cow as a sacrifice for ownership of Invader Zim! *nothing happens* Okay, then. Nevermind. *shrugs* No owny the showy. ROLF COME GET YOUR COW!_**

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**Rag Becomes Beautiful**

***An upcoming Fanfic ad***

Zim was ranting. No, wait…Not ranting. _Plotting._

"AND THEN!" announced the short green alien, "I, the mighty ZIM!, will take the filthy Dib-monkey by surprise with my SUPERIOR Irken capabilities-"

Rag's eyes were glazed over, her blue hair covering her upper lids. It was rather obvious that she stopped listening long before her alien master had even mentioned his own name, which was very early seeing as it was about the third word he said.

Zim finally finished his rant, looking proud of himself with his fists on his hips smiling proudly with his chest popped out. Mini-moose, the harmless but actually very harmful stuffed moose, squeaked in his way of applause, while GIR, the insane robot with cyan blue eyes, repeatedly screamed random Mexican dishes in _his_ own way of applause. Rag started to doze off.

"HUMAN SLAVE!" Zim bellowed, making Rag immediately straighten. "WHY do you insist on ignoring the mighty ZIM's amazing speech?!" He leaned in Rag's face as an attempt to make her feel intimidated.

Rag's face broke into a stupid grin.

"Why is the moon ALWAYS upside down on half past muffin?" she asked in response.

Zim's face fell showing an expression of annoyance "Why are _you_ so absolutely WORTHLESS?"

It was Rag's turn to look annoyed. "At least I tried at first. YOU just wanted the impossible."

"_You _dare defy ZIM?"

"Not the first time, _Master_!" Rag retorted sarcasm dripping from his desired occupation.

This broke out into an all out retort fight, with one insulting the other in response to the last insult. GIR and Mini-moose watched the banter in fear as well as entertainment.

"WHYYYYY?" GIR suddenly shouted at the top of his robotic lungs, interrupting the two. "WHYYY THE HURT? WHYYYY?!" He suddenly fell into a deep sleep. Mini-moose squeaked in annoyance.

"Uh…" Zim looked from GIR to Rag, and back. "As I was saying-"

"I've heard enough," Rag interrupted, holding up her hand, which was covered in her jacket's overly long sleeve. She stood up and calmly left the lab.

Zim returned to his triumphant look, appearing as though he was victorious.

The morning after, Zim was working on his machine needed for the plan he announced the other night. His worm-like tongue was sticking out in concentration during a particularly difficult part of the job.

Just as he was about to finish GIR came screaming down to the lab, crying as he started to crawl to the angry Zim.

"The WAFFLES!"

"GIR-!" Zim began to scold the robot but was interrupted by the robot grabbing Zim and shaking him screaming "WAFFFFFLLLLLLEEEEESSSS!"

Finally, Zim managed to pry the robot's arms off of his shoulders. The sudden break between the two sent Zim crashing into the rest of his machine, almost destroying it. He turned to yell at GIR but was interrupted, yet again, by the SIR unit.

"She didn't make WAFFLES!" GIR managed through tears.

"Rag-slave?" Zim questioned doubtedly.

GIR responded with more tears and sobbing.

Zim rolled his red-ish eyes and made his way to the upper floors. Upon his arrival there he shouted calling for Rag. When there wasn't a response he called more urgently.

"COMPUTER!" He finally called.

An annoyed grunt was his response.

"Where is the human slave?" Zim demanded. He knew she couldn't leave the premises with the microchip running through her veins unless he gave her permission. Which he didn't.

"Try her room," the AI finally responded in its deep, annoyed voice.

The Irken growled in irritation. Did he have to do EVERYTHING around here?

He made his way to her room, banging at her door.

"GO AWAY!" came the blue-haired girl's response.

"Zim doesn't take order from a disgusting human slave-girl! I will give you the chance to open the door yourself, before I force my way in."

There was a pause before Rag opened the door (which was a safe door, due to GIR's confusion), and peeked through showing the dark bag under her bright blue eye.

"Yeah?"

"YOU HAVE INTERFERED WITH ZIM'S DIFFICULT PROCEDURE OF DIFFICULT CREATING OF DIFFICULT…um…THINGS!"

"I've been locked in my room all night and day."

"EXACTLY."

"Oh..." Zim glared at the eye as it rolled. "The slave has a request."

Zim raised an "eyebrow".

"Your SLAVE requests to be left alone without food nor water for the next few days," Rag slammed the door.

A confused Zim stood at the door, staring at the dial for a few seconds before shrugging and walking off, telling GIR to make his own breakfast on his way back to his lab.

The next few days passed and Zim was getting annoyed. As much as he loathed to admit it, he needed Rag. GIR made a bigger mess than even her when it came to making meals, and both he and mini-moose weren't capable of keeping Dib distracted compared to her. That was only because he'd stop to have disgusting human talks with her. After all, they were both agents of the Swollen Eyeballs, and as such were two sides of the same coin. Nonetheless, Rag's absence was more aggravating than those stupid earth-worm discussions.

He'd had enough. Day three and he was sick of it.

Zim marched to Rag's door and slammed his fist in it no less than four times. That meant authority and business.

"Yeeeeess?" Rag drawled in response.

"Zim has a very important mission for you, slave!"

"Can't," Rag argued. "I'm busy."

"Eh…?" Zim reared back a little, looking confused. Rag never did anything. At all. She sat there and argued with Zim constantly, only doing as he ordered because he'd threaten her favorite TV shows or meals. It was because of this he put his question into words.

"I'm trying to be beautiful," she answered.

Okay, now Zim had it.

"IMPOSSIBLE!" he called.

Rag banged on the door as a sign of annoyance as well as impatience.

"HOW can the filthy Rag-slave be…Bee-you-tee-fall?"

"I need to lose weight."

Again Zim was confused, but before he could say anything she slid a magazine under the door. Zim picked it up, and on the cover was a thin, tan female, wearing too much makeup and not enough meat...or clothes.

"See, beautiful girls are hard to hate, unless you're envious. And I'm TIRED of everyone hating me (you especially). So, I couldn't jog around the block, since you'd never let me out," Rag continued, "I can't partake in those stupid work out videos, 'cause they're too loud, and I can't hire a personal trainer, I already tried that before (ending with you experimenting on him _and_ almost me). So, I'm starving myself."

"So…" Zim was definitely curious and confused now. "You're being…dyslexic?"

"Yeah," Rag answered.

"SHOW ZIM!" Zim demanded.

"Uh…No," Rag argued, (again).

"Human slave, if you do not show Zim, then I WILL POOP YOUR PARTY FASTER THAN A _screedly-doo_."

There was a pause much like the first day this all started before Rag opened the door, this time more fully. But, instead of Rag there stood a skeleton.

Of course, not a real skeleton. Just a blue-haired, young girl who could barely fit in her clothes since her bones were showing through her extremely pale skin, and her sunken cheeks were shadowed more than even her typical eye bags. In short, she was terrifying.

Zim screamed before trying to hold in his vomit. He covered his protein chute with his gloved hands, red-ish eyes squinting in protest at the sight they had to behold.

"See, I knew you wouldn't get it," the skeleton spoke using Rag's voice. "It was typically expected of another species."

Zim just backed away slowly pointing in fear at the Rag-skeleton.

"Y-y-you…Ugh," Zim shivered.

Rag sighed before starting to close the door only to be stopped by Zim's boot. She glared at the green face, who glared right back.

"Come with Zim, or be drag-ed by your tongue!" Zim threatened.

Rag considered her options. She could simply push Zim away and lock her door, but he knew the combination into her room. She could also just run for it, but she wouldn't be able to get very far at all, if anywhere. So, instead, she actually complied.

Zim lead her down to the living room, her arms crossed (which was awkward since her coat sleeves were so long), and sat on the couch.

The Irken returned with a taco. He shoved the food in her face, grease dripping down the end.

Rag grimaced. "I'll gain SO much weight if I eat that."

Zim just inched the thing closer to her face.

"NO!" She defied, still.

Unfortunately, for her, when she opened her mouth to yell, Zim shoved the taco in her mouth. Missing the taste of food, she instinctively swallowed.

"You ruined my diet!" She shouted standing.

Zim visibly prepared for a fight, but before he could do anything more, Rag dashed for the kitchen. He rounded the corner and peered in to see her raiding the fridge. Waffles, tacos, burritos, cheese, and even more scattered everywhere, the fridges light illuminating Rag who started to fit into her clothes more with every bite.

After a while, a normal, pretty not-too-bad Rag stood there, her belly a slight lump under her poo-brown shirt. She released a loud burp as she turned to Zim.

She smiled contentedly, her lazy look returning.

"Thanks, Zim," she smiled.

Zim returned to his normal self as well, as he looked annoyed with her.

"Foolish Rag-slave. Believing she could be more attractive with her dyslexia! HA!" and with that he marched past her to the entrance to his lab.

But as he flushed himself down to the depths of the alien house, Rag kept her smile. It wasn't every day Zim showed concern, as distant as it seemed.

Just then, GIR ran in screaming at the top of his lungs his craving for waffles, and so Rag kindly announced, "NO!" before running down to Zim's lab to annoy him. After all, why else would he drag her out of her hunger-deprived state?

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**If you got the reference as to who owns the cow, then brownie points galore for you!**

**I know it's anorexia but this is Invader Zim, therefore stuff like that's crucial. I also know that it takes a lot longer to get as skinny as described. Yet again, for those who are new to this fandom, I know that you don't just fatten up as you eat, but IT'S INVADER ZIM! **

**And for anybody who isn't new to this fandom: please ignore the above.**

**Thank you for reading and please criticize in the most constructive way. I tried to add more descriptive sentences in here considering I failed at that in my last story (which I will be rewriting for improvement once it's done).**

**Thanks again!**


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